Disregarded By You - For Lisa by anacrosis, literature
Literature
Disregarded By You - For Lisa
I loved you so much
but did you even care?
i cant beleive you left
i cant beleive that... your gone
it seems to me that now that you see me like this
like the scum you think i am
that i should give up
with all my errors
all my disabilities
i must face the facts lisa,
you hate me for what i must have done..
I didnt mean anything,
I didnt mean to screw things up at all,
I actually cared for you,
No matter what Lisa i still do,
Always Will,
I feel helpless without you,
I feel hated,
I feel like the personificiation of a 'stabbing westward' song,
Depression, Disease, Disregard,
You hate me, I Love You,
Im not the scum you th
you deserve much better than I,
i am just one mistake on this planet,
which somehow managed to win your heart,
an angel or a princess,
your too good for those titles,
for your too perfect to describe.
Im dying inside from the pain of fear,
the fear of losing you to someone else,
though i wouldnt be sad if you were happy,
with another man other than myself,
for the knowledge of your joy,
will bring me the release i need,
to continue this life i've accidentally received.
I know i piss you off sometimes,
and i know i can hurt you inside,
But know this my love,
i never mean to hurt you,
all i want is to be with you for life.
fro
As I gazed through the window into the rain which fell endlessly onto the ground, I wondered... there must be more than this...
The sweet melody played in the background as I watched this beautiful sight, as I contemplated all of the happenings. I thought of things to come, things happening, and things gone by, I wondered about the words I was hearing in the music, about my life, about the various troulbes in the world, and through all the pain in my thoughts I noticed one thing which I had never noticed ever before, things are much brighter than I first thought.
For what I've felt
I want to show
For what I've lost
You must know
For what I've shown
You've thown away.
How this feels for me
You dont care
Thrown away
I'm in dispair
Shattered Hopes
and broken dreams
you've rejected me,
I'm in dispair
How this feels for me
You dont care,
Thrown away
I'm in dispair
I'm broken now,
I dont know why I tried,
Certainly what can I do,
To fix things between me and you
For what I've shown you've thown away
How this feels for me,
You dont care,
Thrown away
I'm in dispair.
How can I go on?
When I dont have a hope,
Can I love you,
When you dont know.
When you dont notice me,
When I'm pushed aside like trash
What can I do to show you,
The way I feel inside
What is it about you
That I love so much
And what is it that makes you leave
What is it that stops me.
When you dont notice me,
When I'm pushed away like trash,
What can I do to show you
How I really feel inside.
So now I fall
Away and and in love with you
So how do I explain?
How do I explain how I feel,
or the emotions I feel for you,
These odd felt attractions,
For they are so true.
So I scream out to you,
Crying 'cause I cant have you,
Please why is this so,
Do you know,
So I wonder how I can tell,
What I need to say,
What is there I can do,
To say it today.
So I scream out to you,
Crying 'cause I cant have you,
What is there I can do,
To say it today,
So I've fallen,
Away from you,
And so now,
Why are you so far out of view.
Some people complain of voices,
Which no one else can hear,
But the voices in my head say your name,
Everytime your near.
You dont know and I wonder why,
why I should not tell,
why I should let you stay blind to the truth of me,
oh well.
I cry your name when I'm sleeping,
And I think of you in the day,
But when I get near you,
I just cant bring my self to say.
You dont know and I wonder why,
Why I should not tell you,
Why I should let you stay blind to the truth of me,
oh well.
Current Residence: Gone Favourite genre of music: Gone Favourite photographer: Gone Favourite style of art: Gone Operating System: Gone MP3 player of choice: Gone Shell of choice: Gone Wallpaper of choice: Gone Skin of choice: Gone Favourite cartoon character: Gone Personal Quote: Gone
Due to the increasing stress from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Intrusive thoughts, even writing this Journal entry requires alot of strength but none the less im doing it to let you in on my world.
My work will be coming by slowly, mIRC scripts, perhaps some drawings, poetry and stories, of which i'll try to get done without repeatition (due to OCD) or lack of length due to wanting to get tasks out of the way so i dont go insane.
You've probably noticed my last peice of work was submitted around March, many months ago, this is because thats when i last had the mental strength to even do that. I havent been able to write poetry witho
:bulletred:mood: :confused:
:bulletred:music: Mario Theme Song(playing in my head)
:bulletred:subject: Blah!
Boring... :| I did the strangest thing yesterday.. oh well.. things happen, i screw up. as usual. oh well.
I got a new Hard Drive today.. 120GB.. :D i love this.. new pc crap.
sign out
©ReznorInc.Systems.
Are you ok, dear? I have been trying to get into contact with you on The Promenade and on IM. Please check your mail - I am not certain if my mail reached you or landed in the spam filter. I sent it from the SDG account.